A spoiled child is a child that has been overindulged by his or her parents. There is no accepted scientific definition of what "spoiled" means, and professionals are often unwilling to use the label because it is considered vague and derogatory. Psychologists may describe spoiled children as "overindulged", "grandiose", "narcissistic Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, often used as a pejorative, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others" or "egocentric-regressed". Nevertheless, spoiled child syndrome is recognized and accepted in the medical community.[1] Also, lay people generally agree on the adjective "spoiled" and what it means.[2]

Contents

Spoiled child syndrome

Although it is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is published by the American Psychiatric Association and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders. It is used in the United States and in varying degrees around the world, by clinicians, researchers, psychiatric drug regulation agencies,, the spoiled child syndrome was identified and described by Bruce McIntosh in 1989.[3] The syndrome is characterized by "excessive, self-centered, and immature behavior". It includes lack of consideration for other people, recurrent temper tantrums, an inability to handle the delay of gratification, demands for having one's own way, obstructiveness, and manipulation.[4] McIntosh attributed the syndrome to "the failure of parents to enforce consistent, age-appropriate limits", but others, such as Aylward, note that temperament is probably a contributory factor.[2]

It is important to note that the temper tantrums are recurrent. McIntosh observes that "many of the problem behaviors that cause parental concern are unrelated to spoiling as properly understood". Children may have occasional temper tantrums without them falling under the umbrella of "spoiled". Extreme cases of spoiled child syndrome, in contrast, will involve frequent temper tantrums, physical aggression, defiance, destructive behaviour, and refusal to comply with even the simple demands of daily living.[2]

Etiology

Differential diagnosis

Children with underlying medical or mental health problems may exhibit some of the symptoms. Speech or hearing disorders, and attention deficit disorder Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a neurobehavioral developmental disorder. It is primarily characterized by "the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone" and symptoms starting before seven years of age, may lead to children failing to understand the limits set by parents. Children who have recently experienced a stressful event, such as the separation of the parents or the birth or death of a close family relative, may also exhibit some or all of the symptoms. Children of parents who themselves have psychiatric disorders may manifest some of the symptoms, because the parents behave erratically, sometimes failing to perceive their children's behaviour correctly, and thus fail to properly or consistently define limits of normal behaviour for them.[4]

Prevention

Physicians can counsel parents in the proper ways to deal with their children to prevent spoiling as follows: Up to the age of six months, a parent need not worry that comforting a crying child will result in spoiling, but after that time they should encourage children to comfort themselves, lest they begin to associate crying with a ritual. Parents should prepare themselves for children being obstructive and attempting to test limits between the ages of 18 months and 3 years, should set firm and clear limits, should provide choices for children during stand-offs, and should not become aggravated or feel guilty about doing these. They should also be aware that verbal pleading does not work at those ages, since children do not develop the concept of (adult) morality until they are around 6 or 7 years old.[4]

Treatment

Treatment by a physician involves assessing parental competence, and whether the parents set limits correctly and consistently. Physicians should rule out dysfunction in the family, referring dysfunctional families A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often abuse on the part of individual members occur continually and regularly, leading other members to accommodate such actions. Children sometimes grow up in such families with the understanding that such an arrangement is normal. Dysfunctional families are primarily a result for family therapy and dysfunctional parents for parenting skills training, and counsel parents in methods for modifying their child's behaviour.[4]

Spoiling of infants

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In early infancy, a baby seeks food, contact, and comfort by crying. This behavior should be viewed as a distress signal indicating that some biological need is not being met. Although parents sometimes worry about spoiling their children by giving them too much attention, specialists in child development maintain that babies cannot be spoiled in the first six months of life.[5][6] During the first year, children are developing a sense of basic trust Erik Erikson was a Danish-German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on social development of human beings. He may be most famous for coining the phrase identity crisis. His son, Kai T. Erikson, is a noted American sociologist and attachment Attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary, and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans; an emotional bond between two or more individuals. The most important tenet of attachment theory is that a young child needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to occur. In general, the more attention and care they receive from their parents, the better.

After six months, most babies are no longer suffering from colic and other early discomforts. At this point, they begin to learn that they can control parental behavior through crying and spoiling may become more of a concern.[7] Infants learn to interact with adults by using inducements and invitations. For example, a child may vocalize or reach out to the parents. Spoiled infants, however, continue to control parental behaviour through crying and do not learn to use inducement and invitation.[8]

Only children

Main article: only child An only child is a child with no siblings, either biological or adopted. Although first-born children may be temporarily considered only children, and have a similar early family environment, the term only child is generally applied only to those individuals who never have siblings. An "only child", however may have half-siblings or step-

If a family has only one child, it is commonly believed that the extra attention lavished upon this "only child" will cause him or her to become spoiled. Alfred Adler Alfred Adler was an Austrian medical doctor, psychologist and founder of the school of individual psychology. In collaboration with Sigmund Freud and a small group of Freud's colleagues, Adler was among the co-founders of the psychoanalytic movement as a core member of the Vienna Psychoanalytic Society. He was the first major figure to break away (1870–1937) believed that only children were likely to experience a variety of problems from this situation. Adler theorized that because only children have no rivals for their parents' affection, they will become pampered and spoiled, particularly by the mother. He suggested that this could later cause interpersonal difficulties if the person is not universally liked and admired.[9]

A 1987 quantitative review In statistics, a meta-analysis combines the results of several studies that address a set of related research hypotheses. In its simplest form, this is normally by identification of a common measure of "effect size", for which a weighted average might be the output of a meta-analyses. Here the weighting might be related to sample sizes of 141 studies on 16 different personality traits contradicted Adler's theory. This research found no evidence of any "spoilage" or other pattern of maladjustment in only children. The major finding was that only children are not very different from children with siblings. The main exception to this was the finding that only children are generally higher in achievement motivation.[10] A second analysis revealed that only children, first-borns, and children with only one sibling score higher on tests of verbal ability than later-borns and children with multiple siblings.[11]

Consequences for later life

Spoiling in infancy and early childhood tends to create characteristic reactions that persist, fixed, into later life. These can cause significant social problems. Spoiled children may have difficulty coping with situations such as teachers refusing to grant extensions on homework assignments, playmates refusing to allow them to play with their toys and playmates refusing playdates with them, a loss in friends, failure in employment, failure with personal relationships, and girlfriends or boyfriends refusing to engage in sexual activity. As adults, spoiled children may experience problems with anger management Anger Management is a 2003 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson, directed by Peter Segal and written by David S Dorfman. It was produced by Revolution Studios in association with Sandler's production company Happy Madison Productions and was distributed by Columbia Pictures, professionalism, and personal relationships.[12][13]

See also

References

  1. ^ McIntosh, Bruce J. (1989). Spoiled Child Syndrome. "Pediatrics". Pediatrics 83 (1): 108–115. PMID A PMID is a unique number assigned to each PubMed citation of life sciences and biomedical scientific journal articles. The related Pubmed Central archive may additionally assign a separate number, a PMCID (PubMed Central Identifier), normally written with a PMC prefix 2642617. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/83/1/108.
  2. ^ a b c Glen P. Aylward (2003). Practitioner's Guide to Behavioral Problems in Children. Springer. p. 35. ISBN The International Standard Book Number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit Standard Book Numbering (SBN) code created by Gordon Foster, now Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Trinity College, Dublin, for the booksellers and stationers W.H. Smith and others in 1966 0306477408.
  3. ^ Bruce J. McIntosh (January 1989). "Spoiled Child Syndrome". Pediatrics 83 (1): 108–115. PMID A PMID is a unique number assigned to each PubMed citation of life sciences and biomedical scientific journal articles. The related Pubmed Central archive may additionally assign a separate number, a PMCID (PubMed Central Identifier), normally written with a PMC prefix 2642617. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org./cgi/content/abstract/83/1/108.
  4. ^ a b c d e f g h Vidya Bhushan Gupta (1999). "Spoiled Child Syndrome". Manual of Developmental and Behavioral Problems in Children. Informa Health Care. pp. 198–199. ISBN The International Standard Book Number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit Standard Book Numbering (SBN) code created by Gordon Foster, now Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Trinity College, Dublin, for the booksellers and stationers W.H. Smith and others in 1966 0824719387.
  5. ^ Can an Infant be Spoiled? www.drspock.com Retrieved November 23, 2008.
  6. ^ Spoiling a Baby - DrGreen.com Retrieved November 23, 2008.
  7. ^ Spoiling: After 6 Months. www.drspock.com Retrieved November 23, 2008.
  8. ^ William Moulton Marston, C. Daly King, and Elizabeth H. Marston (1999). Integrative Psychology. Routledge. pp. 247–249. ISBN The International Standard Book Number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit Standard Book Numbering (SBN) code created by Gordon Foster, now Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Trinity College, Dublin, for the booksellers and stationers W.H. Smith and others in 1966 0415210771.
  9. ^ Adler, A. (1964). Problems of neurosis. New York: Harper and Row.
  10. ^ Polit, D. F. & Falbo, T. (1987) Only children and personality development: A quantitative review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, 309-325.
  11. ^ Polit, D. F. & Falbo, T. (1988). The intellectual achievement of only children. Journal of Biosocial Science, 20, 275-285.
  12. ^ Leslie D. Weatherhead (2007). Psychology Religion and Healing. READ BOOKS. pp. 272. ISBN The International Standard Book Number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit Standard Book Numbering (SBN) code created by Gordon Foster, now Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Trinity College, Dublin, for the booksellers and stationers W.H. Smith and others in 1966 1406747696.
  13. ^ Michael Osit (2008). Generation Text. AMACOM Div American Mgmt Assn. pp. 59. ISBN The International Standard Book Number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit Standard Book Numbering (SBN) code created by Gordon Foster, now Emeritus Professor of Statistics at Trinity College, Dublin, for the booksellers and stationers W.H. Smith and others in 1966 0814409326.

Further reading

Parenting Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the activity of raising a child rather than the biological relationship
Parents A parent is a caretaker of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the mother or the father figure of a child (NOTE: "child" refers to offspring, not necessarily age). Children can have one or more parents, but they must have two biological parents. Biological parents consist of the male who sired the child and the Adoptive parents Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting for another who is not kin and, in so doing, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities from the original parent or parents. Unlike guardianship or other systems designed for the care of the young, adoption is intended to effect a permanent change in status and as such · Alloparenting One common form of alloparenting is where grandparents adopt a parental role. This is sometimes named a "skipped generation household". In 1997, 8% of children in the United States lived with their grandparents, with the grandparents being the caregivers in one third of those cases · Complex family Complex family is a generic term for any family structure involving more than two adults. The term can refer to any extended family or to a polygamy of any type. It is often used to refer to the group marriage form of polygamy · Coparenting The principle of coparenting states that a child has always and in any case the right to maintain a stable relationship with both parents, even if they are separated or divorced, unless there is a recognized need to separate him/her from one or both parents · Foster parents Foster care is the term used for a system in which a minor who has been made a ward is placed in the private home of a state certified caregiver referred to as a "foster parent" · LGBT parenting LGBT parenting occurs when lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are parents to one or more children, either as biological or non-biological parents. Gay men face options which include: "foster care, variations of domestic and international adoption, diverse forms of surrogacy (whether "traditional" or gestational), and · Noncustodial parent A "child-custody determination" means a judgment, decree, or other order of a court providing for the legal custody, physical custody, or visitation with respect to a child. The term includes a permanent, temporary, initial, and modification order. The term does not include an order relating to child support or other monetary obligation · Nuclear family A nuclear family is a family group consisting of only a father and mother and their children, who share living quarters. This can be contrasted with an extended family. Nuclear families can be of any size, as long as there are only children and two parents. Nuclear families meet their individual members’ basic needs because available resources (Mother A mother is a woman who has, conceived, given birth to, or raised a child in the role of a parent. Because of the complexity and differences of a mothers' social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to define a mother to suit a universally accepted definition. The masculine equivalent is a father | Father A father is defined as a male parent of any type of offspring. The adjective "paternal" refers to father, parallel to "maternal" for mother | Children In biology, offspring is the product of reproduction, a new organism produced by one or more parents) · Orphans An orphan is a child permanently bereaved of his or her parents. In common usage, only a child (or the young of an animal) who has lost both parents is called an orphan. However, adults can also be referred to as orphans, or "adult orphans" · Shared parenting Shared parenting refers to a collaborative arrangement in child custody or divorce determinations in which the care of the children is equal or more than substantially shared between the biological parents · Single parent Single-parent is a parent who cares for one or more children without the physical assistance of the other parent in the home. "Single Parenthood" may vary according to the local laws of different nations or regions · Stepparent A stepfamily, also known as a blended family or reconstituted family, is a family in which one or both members of the couple have children from a previous relationship. The member of the couple to whom the child is not biologically related is the stepparent, specifically the stepmother or stepfather · Surrogate parents Surrogacy is an arrangement whereby a woman agrees to become pregnant and deliver a child for a contracted party. She may be the child's genetic mother , or she may, as a gestational carrier, carry the pregnancy to delivery after having been implanted with an embryo, the latter being an illegal medical procedure in some jurisdictions · In loco parentis The term in loco parentis, Latin for "in the place of a parent" or "instead of a parent," refers to the legal responsibility of a person or organization to take on some of the functions and responsibilities of a parent. Originally derived from English common law, it is applied in two separate areas of the law
Parenting styles A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. There are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest Attachment parenting Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available · Concerted cultivation Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting that is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families. Many have attributed cultural benefits to this form of child-rearing due to the style's use in higher · Gatekeeper parent A gatekeeper parent, typically a mother, is one who takes to arrogating themselves the power to decide what relationship is acceptable between the other parent and the child, either within a marriage, or outside any formal agreement between the two parents was in place after a divorce settlement. It can also be referred to as "Maternal · Helicopter parent Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children · Nurturant parenting The nurturant parent model is a parenting style which envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model believes that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore. The parents are responsible for protecting their child during this · Parenting For Everyone "Not many of us can love children, even our own children. Not many of us are wise enough to control our own behavior. Not many of us can avoid anger and be in command of ourselves. In most cases we are tired and irritated. But children soften our hearts – by their existence, by their laughing and pranks. We just have to be brave. We must · Slow parenting Slow parenting is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace. It is a response to Concerted cultivation and the widespread trend for parents to schedule activities and classes after school; to solve problems on behalf of the children, and to buy services · Soccer mom The phrase soccer mom broadly refers to a middle-class suburban woman who spends a significant amount of her time transporting her school-age children to their sporting events or other activities. Indices of American magazines and newspapers show relatively little usage of the term until a 1995 Denver city council election. It came into widespread · Strict father model · Taking Children Seriously
Biology Attachment theory · Child development · Cognitive development · Developmental psychology · Human development · Maternal bond · Nature versus nurture · Nutrition · Parental investment · Paternal bond · Pediatrics · Social psychology · Vaccination schedule
Techniques After-school activity · Allowance · Bedtime · Childcare · Co-sleeping · Educational toys · Homeschooling · Hygiene · Latchkey kid · Nanny · Play · Play date · Role model · Spoiled child · Television
Discipline Blanket training · Corporal punishment in the home · Curfew · Grounding · Naughty chair · Tactical ignoring · Time-out
Abuse Abandonment · Child labour · Cinderella effect · Incest · Narcissistic parents
Legal and Social Child support · Cost of raising a child · Love · Maternity · Marriage · Morality · Parental responsibility · Paternity · Social skill
Experts Tanya Byron · James Dobson · Rudolf Dreikurs · David Elkind · Haim Ginott · Thomas Gordon · Annette Lareau · Penelope Leach · Madeline Levine · William Sears · Benjamin Spock
School · Family · Psychology · Health

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